There are moments in ones life where one is entirely speechless. not just a temporary stunning, but one is left with absolutly nothing to say.
I, for one, have never had a problem with words.
So why is it that I'm here. At 2:46 in the morning with nothing to say to you. It seems that I've gone from one emotional extreme to another, and now half of me is left on one end, and the other half is completly seperated.
Anger, dissapiontment, hurt, distrust, miscommunication, lonliness, confusion, love, forgivness, hollowness, cold, frustration, humiliation, acceptance, care, embarrasment. How can one go through every one of these, even if only for a second, and know what to say.
I'm sorry for the loss of words. I'm sorry for my incapability to express what I feel, or what I am trying to feel. I'm sorry for caring so much.
And yet.
I'm still speechless.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Saturday, June 2, 2007
Boston
So I am in Boston right now. I haven't been here long at all, but for some reason I feel quite a personal connection with this lovely city. I've only been downtown, but i absolutly love what i've seen. Quiant, tall, and welcoming, Boston is a nice place to be, to think.
I, of course, flew my way over here to Boston (by myself, oo and ah please) and this of course left more thinking time. (Mainly becuase i finished my book way early...) the trip started out alittle rocky with some unexpected and appreciated confrontational departing words. This sort of shocked me, considering the person, but nonetheless.
So this began my inner turmoil, which i should be having alot of considering my top two personality bases, and i established a yearning in my heart. This is the longing to be loved and cherished, so much that all my personal doubts and self-inflicted wounds would be healed or shared. but i don't think i need it down here, from someone on earth. God is the only way i can really experience a life brimming with love. completing love. life can be so complicated in such an innocent way, and this makes it difficult to really be at peace or at war with myself. so maybe i'm in between... lukewarm anyone? bad. now that i've realized my current need for something more, i'm going to search. a song once said...
"i think i'll go to boston. i think that i was tired. i think i need a new town, to leave this all behind. i think i need a sunrise, i'm tired of a sunset..."
so, boston... here i am.
I, of course, flew my way over here to Boston (by myself, oo and ah please) and this of course left more thinking time. (Mainly becuase i finished my book way early...) the trip started out alittle rocky with some unexpected and appreciated confrontational departing words. This sort of shocked me, considering the person, but nonetheless.
So this began my inner turmoil, which i should be having alot of considering my top two personality bases, and i established a yearning in my heart. This is the longing to be loved and cherished, so much that all my personal doubts and self-inflicted wounds would be healed or shared. but i don't think i need it down here, from someone on earth. God is the only way i can really experience a life brimming with love. completing love. life can be so complicated in such an innocent way, and this makes it difficult to really be at peace or at war with myself. so maybe i'm in between... lukewarm anyone? bad. now that i've realized my current need for something more, i'm going to search. a song once said...
"i think i'll go to boston. i think that i was tired. i think i need a new town, to leave this all behind. i think i need a sunrise, i'm tired of a sunset..."
so, boston... here i am.
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