they often say "you don't know what you have until you've lost it"
maybe we know what we've had all along, but we refuse to see too much good, because then we become vulnerable.
maybe we chose to pick out other peoples faults when we're really just desperate to change our own.
i know what i have. i have amazing girls. family. my Father. i have love. joy. hope. and i pray that i'll never lose that. because i know what i have, and i know losing it would be horrible.
but maybe i've lost something else too. something that i knew was always a good thing, but i'd convinced myself could be bad. that thing that needed to change in my life. and if it changed, i would have to change too. but maybe it had nothing to do with that thing, maybe all i needed was the drive, the will, and the guts to get over myself and do what i needed to do spiritually. maybe i could have held on alittle longer, fought alittle harder.
maybe, just maybe, i want you back.
but maybe what i want and what i need are completly different.
maybe what i want and what YOU need are completly different.
because maybe it's never been about you. maybe it's always been about me. i know what you need. yet i know what i want.
so now i'm left with a choice. knowing what i had, and still letting you go. still losing you.
but maybe my choice is bearable, because maybe this time, i choose you.
*please let me know when YOU have read this.
