dare to discover

I am discovering some things about myself lately and i think i need to address them.
1. i have a longing to be unique and individual, mysterious and unreadable. i want to be different.
2. i need deep and meaningful conversation to occur in order to feel intimate with someone.
3. i allow myself to be easily persuaded or influenced by peoples opinions or ideas about matters of personal importance, even against my will
4. when i discover something about myself, i like to share it with people close to me, and i want them to understand.
explanation:
1. i want to BE different. not just act different, think different, or seem different. i want to BE different, unique, origional. i don't want to be another easy shallow girl, i want to have goals and motives and philosophies and theories about love and God and personal relationships. i want to think for myself, stand on my own two feet.
2. meaningless or shallow conversation doesn't bother me, i like to get to know people and their interests and daily activities, but in order to feel intimacy or personal connection with someone, i need to be able to communicate and feel like they are interested in what i have to say on a deeper level. i want to share what is on my heart, i want to share where i am spiritually and want to know the desires and the spiritual life of the people that i care about most, and when i feel like i can't do that then i pull myself away, i feel like i'm wasting my time if i'm not growing because of a relationship with a person.
3. its not that i care or worry alot about what people think of me or my opinions, but i easily adopt people's opinions of issues in my life if i don't know where i personally stand, or if i'm confused or in need of a concrete answer. people will make an argument for something and i find myself turning their ideas in my head over and over and applying their concepts to real issues. this can be a good and bad thing, i've discovered.
4. i want to share things that i discover about myself with people that are the closest to me, becase i want those people to understand me better, to know what i'm going through and help me process the things that are new to me. i like to take things that i discover about myself and share them to discover if other people have realized these things about me through observation, if they know me well enough to already figure out quarks that i am newly processing.
ok. i'm done.